Actually....

The Mud Puddle has a new favorite word. Actually. And he uses it A LOT. “Actually mummy that makes you look fat.” “Actually I would rather have a muffin for dinner than nuggets.” You get the idea.

While his proper use of the word is funny in of itself there is another phenomenon that has accompanied it. He has become the most indecisive person I have ever MET. If he makes up his mind about one thing he quickly changes it and then back to the original again.
This goes on for a long time and usually ends in shouting or tears (on both sides).

A scenario if you will:
“Would you like juice or milk?” “Milk.” Pause for five seconds. “NO JUICE”. “Ok.” I ask warily. “Which is it? You have said both, you have to make a decision.” “Milk. Yes. Milk” “NO JUICE”. Oh for crap’s sake. I wonder what juice and milk mixed together taste like.

This literally happens five times a day. “Do you want to help feed the dogs?” “No!” I get up and head over to pick up their bowls. “NO MOMMY I DO WANT TO FEED THE DOGS!!” and the level of panic in his voice! You would think these things were life and death decisions. Whether he helps or not, the dogs are getting fed. And really I don’t care if I do it or he does it. The dogs don’t seem to have a preference either.

And I get it. I really do. I was the same way when I was his age. Every decision was painstakingly thought through, analyzed and reanalyzed and then the “buyer’s remorse” would set it. I always had a sinking feeling that I had made the wrong decision.

I grew out of it for the most part and am probably now one of the most decisive people around. I still worry when making a big decision (his schooling is eating me up inside) but I have learned to rationalize, weigh pros and cons and trust my gut. I hope that I can impart in him the same confidence in his decision making. But right now I am just trying to get through a day without him flipping out because he picked wrong. And not have to pour two drinks every time he is thirsty.