When life hands you lemons....

You apparently get your mother to set you up a lemonade stand;that is if you are the MP.
It all started innocently enough. We went to Applebee’s for dinner and they handed the MP a kid’s menu and crayons.
For the uninitiated these menus usually have a theme associated with them and this one happened to be about a little girl who built a lemonade stand to raise money for charity.

We colored the picture, did the word scramble (ok, I did the word scramble he just shouted out the letter names) we talked about the lemonade stand and colored one in (the service was not that good so we had plenty of time to waste).

As we are talking about he asks me to make him some lemonade. I tell him sure, we have to hit the market on the way home anyway so I offer to pick him up some lemonade mix (you surely didn’t think I was going to make it from SCRATCH did you)?

This request for lemonade powder quickly morphs into a need for his own lemonade stand. I don’t know how that brain of his made that leap but there it is. I had to promise him, oh about 100 times, that night we would do a lemonade stand the next afternoon.

He was up at 6 a.m. and climbed into bed with us for a Sunday morning lie in. He asked me about 10 times between 6:00 and 6:02 if we were still going to do the lemonade stand. YES, YES, YES a million times yes. Cuddling is supposed to be QUIET time.

So when we are all up and at ‘em and I have at least had the opportunity to smell my coffee (I don’t think I actually got to taste any) he starts in on the lemonade stand again. It is clear to me I am not going to get out of this so I decide to make a list of everything we will need: cups, lemonade, sign, ice, cash box, chair, table, (this will act as the stand) decorations.

So I make the sign with MP supervision, he dresses it up a bit with some decoration.
I make the lemonade with MP supervision and some stirring on his part.
Scott and I round up the table, decorative lemons, ice bag, snacks to go with the lemonade, and chairs to sit in. Oh and sunscreen. We are never without sunscreen.

The MP gets the cups.

So I set all of this up outside and we wait. After about 15 minutes of the MP asking where all the customers are (we live on a quiet street with no foot traffic in the afternoon) I ask Scott to call in a ringer. Our friend Gart and his fiancé Cathy kindly stop by and purchase a cup. At this point 25 minutes has elapsed since we set up the stand and the MP has moved on to other things.

I am left manning the stand. Alone. Look, I did my retail duty in high school and college and as much as I loved it – this stand was all about HIM, not about me. He fretted and chatted, begged and whined for the stupid thing for nearly an entire day and his attention span lasted all of 20 minutes – which was five minutes longer than expected.
I have been at this mom stuff long enough to know how this was going down and who would actually be selling the lemonade but he seemed to have fun watching me do it, and really isn’t that all that matters?

Where does he get it from?

That question comes up a lot in regards to the Mud Puddle (MP from now on, I am tired of typing the whole thing out and those of you who are with me on this blog thing will get it). There is a lot of blame bandied about as to who is responsible for this quirk or that (The Blood Pool band thing? TOTALLY Scott’s fault). But this particular incident is hard to trace and no one is taking credit.
Let me give you the exact wording on the MP’s family communication from daycare for last Thursday:

Today’s Menu Bean Soup, Broccoli, Bread, Pears and Milk he ate some
At nap time he relaxed quietly (which can mean lying down on his cot or chatting with his neighbors).
Highlights of today: Overall he had fun playing in all areas. Many times he had to be redirected for using bathroom words (the kid loves to talk about his farts).
He played Fair with his friends. He even made a plan with them to come back at night and take toys through the roof . Very creative and ambitious (smiley face).


Um excuse me??? He made plans with his friends to break into daycare and steal toys?? What the….
So I of course had to query him about this. Apparently he and his little buddies had decided they wanted to see what daycare looked like at night and to play with the toys they weren’t allowed to during the day. As we were leaving he whispered to his cohort Marvin “I will see you at 8:30”. I quickly replied “NO YOU WILL NOT. You are in bed at 8:30” and shot Marvin a look letting him know I meant business.

Now I didn’t seriously think the MP was going to sneak out of his bedroom window and toddle down to daycare (which is close enough to walk to and he badly wants to hoof it over to some morning) and shimmy on the roof under cover of darkness.

But just in case, we had a chat at bedtime. No sneaking out of the house and no b and es until you are out of my house. If you want to become a cat burglar after college – great go for it but until you are 22 (or 25 – we have a recorded history of taking our time getting through our undergrad studies) no burglary, no breaking or entering, no criminal activity of any kind.
He seemed ok with that and we made a plan and shook on it.

I honestly have no idea where this idea hatched from or how he would know to climb down from the roof to break in. I swear he has not seen Mission Impossible or the Great Train Robbery or anything like it. I would LOVE to blame his little friends but the MP seems to be the ring leader in these kinds of activities. So at the moment, it remains a mystery where he gets his thieving ideas, but I am not going to take the blame without some kind of genetic testing.

Quick and Dirty

I apologize for not writing last week but things have been crazy. I thought summer was supposed to be RELAXING. Not so much.
So just a brief post today and I will attempt something longer later on this week.

The Mud Puddle has decided to start his own band. Their name? Blood Pool
And apparently Scott will have to sing lead vocals since according to the MP they will be singing ‘bad words’ and he is not allowed to say ‘bad words’ but Daddy is.
ROCK ON PEOPLE

Nobody's Fool

The Mud Puddle has a mind like a steel trap. He remembers crap that would slip the average mind in three seconds flat.
Some examples:

Two mornings ago I was woken up in the usual fashion (the Mud Puddle leaning on the pillow on my head and shoving Ellie into my breathing hole thereby trying to suffocate me awake) and as the Mud Puddle climbed in for a brief cuddle he asked, “Where you a Cheer Lady mommy?” and my honest response was, “Um..Yes. Why?”
I knew this wasn’t going to be anything but embarrassing for me. He replied that he knew that I was and wanted to know if I cheered for football (no basketball) and asked to see me cheer.

So at 7:15 in the morning sporting pjs, glasses and bed head I started doing sideline cheers that I haven’t had to do with any real gusto in 15 years. Sure, when bored and standing around somewhere alone I will sometimes break out into a “You Can’t Sink the Ship” but for the most part I have kept it to myself.

The Mud Puddle was a very captive audience and really enjoyed it. He asked me to come up with cheers for Ellie (the football player) and him (the football player – apparently he was not impressed with my basketball cheer cred). So after that EXCITING and unplanned session of morning calisthenics I began to wonder how this came up and why he knew this. There was a clear source for this tidbit of information so when I talked to my Dad later that day I inquired about it.

Dad told me that yes, they had told the Mud Puddle I was a cheerleader but there wasn’t a conversation involved it was more of a comment. And it was dropped pretty quickly but given the Mind of the Mud Puddle it was filed away for future use.

Then this morning the Mud Puddle goes through the motion of suffocating me awake and informs me that Daddy is taking him to school. Now I do drop off Tuesday-Thursday and Scott does Monday and Fridays. But Scott had apparently mentioned off handedly on Tuesday morning that MAYBE he would take him in on Thursday.
So the first words out of his mouth this morning was “It’s Thursday daddy are you taking me to school?”

The moral of this story? Don’t tell that kid ANYTHING you don’t want him to remember and use against you at a later time. And I need to remember to get back at my dad. I will have the Mud Puddle file that away for me.

Absences Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The Mud Puddle has had a little break this week spending time with the grandparents. (Thank you Mom and Dad!!)
When he is away from me I am equal parts glad for the break (I got to have a mani/pedi last night and hang out at the bookstore until 9:30!) and sad to not have him around. I figured I would reflect on what I miss about him when he isn’t near:

Cuddles – Scott is nice and all but the Mud Puddle currently fits perfectly under my arm when we are sitting on the couch. And when I stop running around doing all manner of chores and sit down he scooches over and comes in close and we watch TV together.

His world view – seeing life through the Mud Puddle’s eyes is usually an enlightening and entertaining experience. His keen observations and rapier wit are part of the Mud Puddle charm and he always has some editorial dialogue going about the world around him.

His over exuberance – nearly every morning whilst I am getting ready for the day I have to make at least one mad dash into the living room b/c the Mud Puddle is screaming bloody murder. This usually involves a toy commercial on TV or a dog looking at him funny.
Either way it keeps me on my toes and my heart rate up. It has been so quiet this week in the morning I have taken to riling up the dogs for some excitement.

My wake up call – I sleep with a pillow over my head, always have. Never have worried about the dangers of it until the Mud Puddle became my alarm clock.
He wakes up most mornings sometime after Scott. They bee bop around getting breakfast and the like until it is time for Scott to leave and me to get up.
The Mud Puddle will come into the room and stick Ellie in my breathing hole usually pressing down on the pillow during the process. The only way it could be more of a shock to the system would be if he dumped cold water on me after trying to suffocate me with a nappy elephant and my beloved pillow.

He will be home soon and I can’t wait to have him back in the house making his noise and keeping me company.