Hawaii By the Numbers

920 miles on the rental car in Maui – and one puke scene in it. (post puke picture)

Two real life girlfriends (a ten year old at the Luau and a four year old at LAX, she liked his DVD player and he was happy to fill her in on “Finding Nemo”)

15 t-shirts – which all seemed necessary at the time but I am still not sure how Scott and I will find enough downtime to wear all of ours.

1 trip on a real submarine - which led to countless requests for "Yellow Submarine" to be sung.

2 trips to the Aquarium – I would have been happy with a third (see pictures of many sharks for the reason).

1 nut related rash – If you are allergic to nuts even if the nuts listed in a product (a tanning solution that I referred to as Turkey Baste) are not ones you have issue with. Do you put it on? Or more precisely slather it on, all over your body even after you start to get itchy? No, you run away from it b/c the next purchase you have to make is benadryl and you then have to slather THAT all over your rash that is hiding your tan. And your wife gets the remainder of the Baste and comes home darker than she has been since childhood (YAY FOR ME).

35 holes of mini-golf – it would have been 36 but we had to skip a hole to get around the people who were playing slowly. We are speed mini golfers.

3 trips to Wal-Mart – see previous post about the ‘broken’ dvd player (needed a new one), see nut related rash (drugs were needed), and we had to make an initial trip for household stuff which was great b/c getting to stay in a house saves you tons of money on food. That is if you take advantage of the stove, fridge and sink…

15 visits to the ABC store – I love the ABC store. The first thing I said when we decided to go was “I can’t WAIT to hit the ABC store”. So we went to one everyday. Now, why you ask, do I love the ABC store so much? Because it is cheap and has great stuff, not items you need per se but things like shark tooth necklaces (4 for $5!!!) and iced coffee in a can, my Maui hand lotion, the Maui newspaper, battery operated Hula girls who freak out French Bulldogs and caused the MP to become a perv – apparently looking up its skirt is necessary before purchase. Not only that, if you buy more than $100 worth of stuff (you can collect your receipts) you get a really tacky coffee mug. I had enough to earn more than one.

438 pictures – our new digital camera is awesome and we had many picture worthy moments. Plus, you can never have too many pictures of sharks or sunsets.

2 weeks of bliss – we all had a great time, got along famously and I would dare say, like each other more now than we did before. We have never spent that much time together consistently and came out the other side a tighter unit that we went in.