Thank You

I sometimes finding myself questioning my own parenting style but don’t doubt it enough to modify it. As the Mud Puddle turns 9 (that last single digit birthday) I thought I would share with you one of more unique (or inappropriate if you like) ways that I let him know I love him and am glad he is mine.

I thank him on a regular basis for not being an asshole. I know that sounds strange and probably a little harsh but I mean it in the nicest way possible. I feel that is sums up why I do things for him that fall outside the normal everyday stuff. When I buy him tickets to see WWE or when I let him stay up late on a school night, I want him to understand if he starts to take such things for granted, or roll his eyes at me when I ask him to pitch in around the house, the gravy train is going to come to a screeching halt. I do not reward punks or buttheads. If you want to live the high life, you better be your mother’s angel.

I find that I rarely have to correct his behavior to get him to fall in line with my “no assholes allowed” policy. He gets it or is just wired that way. Sure, he leaves his dirty socks on the back of the couch almost every day (seriously, have you ever met someone who the first thing they do when they walk through the door is take their socks off and whip them onto the couch? They are SOCKS, not pants that are two sizes too small. But removed they must be and flung around the living room just so they know he really despises them.) And there are empty juice pouches on the coffee table right now probably. But we keep reminding him to pick up his stuff. And he is getting better. Scott has gone all ‘bad cop’ by threatening an earlier bed time for each infraction of leaving your stuff lying around. So far, that has done the trick. Dirty socks: I can handle. Treating your parents with disrespect and contempt? Not in my house.

I was telling someone about this policy recently and they asked if he were an asshole would I acknowledge it? I am his mother after all.

Um, yes I would. Have you met me? I call a spade a spade. Even if they live in my house. I am more than happy to tell you when you are doing it wrong or how you get on my nerves (wait, I think I am an asshole!! But I am not going to stop buying myself Ann Taylor, that is just silly).

And there have been a rare occasion where we have had to put him in the naughty corner or leave a cart in a store and walk out because of his behavior (the infamous Ikea meltdown of 2005. It gets talked about to this day because it was really the only time we recall where he threw a full blown tantrum in a store).

So I was told that I MAY have overdone it with the birthday gifts. Which, oh yes I did. But as I told him when he asked what he was getting for his birthday: "it is a lot of presents for one kid but I really appreciate you are not an asshole."
He suggested that instead of a birthday card, I get him a Thank You card and put that word in it(he is not allowed to say it. We recently relaxed the ban on saying Hell ‘cause it is a place. Maybe. Which then led to him perfecting “I hope it gives you hell” on his karaoke game. Cause now he doesn’t need to self-edit).
So I am going to make him a card to that effect. And hope that the over indulgence in presents doesn’t cause him to turn into a turd. But if it does assume I will let him know.